Thursday, September 29, 2005

when i said i had plans for the summer i wasn't kidding

(having a spare right now)
since this is my last year in high school i'm already having tons of plans for the summer because, after this summer i'd have another 5 years of school ahead (not that i'm not excited for that.) and if you're a parent, yes, "dad/mom", i know i should be working on my college applications but you can't expect me to do that 24/7 right?

lately i've been doing some research on hungary (yes that's where my ex lives i'll mind as well tell you assuming no family member or friend of mine is reading it) and ran into a blog called "why hungary?" very informative and it might just be one of my biggest sources of information. and if you're reading this, chris, thanks for the reply and there will be tons more questions coming up as i plan more and more detailedly for my trip! some people might consider what i'm doing as immature but hey i'm 16 (soon 17) if i don't do what i want to when else am i supposed to do so? when i'm married with a dozen of kids? plus, who knows, maybe this will be one of those significant memories that i have when i'm a grandma and would like to tell my grandkids about. now, my biggest concern is whether i'll be able to contact my ex before i go there - since you know, he's probably scared away by my late clingliness. (long story, shall cover that in the future)

okay let's go back to some mundane things
yesterday my fellow grade 12 friends and i were chatting at the residence office when suddenly one of them asked me again about elek. that just totally ruined my evening. i spent the rest of the night in bed reading the hours (for english class) and thinking about him bitterly. something has to be done about this.

!serious subject alert!
usually when i have to face the hard times in life i force myself to deal with them with a sense of humor. (or i listen to the beatles) do not try this at home. it's not as easy as you think. take the "wrong number" incident as an example - i was heartbroken for a second, but i made myself see it as a scene from a b-list comedy where the actress was ill-treated by her cruel ex. then i made myself react like how the actress would - for 5 seconds i stood there, agape, eyes wide and stomped back into my room. i didn't even weep. i feel much better about myself that way. people usually aren't that willing to take advice from a 16-year-old, but trust me, practise doing that and you'll see how more positive your attitude is when dealing with problems.

wow i've never been that serious in my life
maybe mom should read this afterall. that way she'll realize how sophisticated i really am. and buy me the slouchy boots i've wanted for so long.


Blogger Mary Morgan said...

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